The Price of Being Single

Do I really want a boyfriend, or just someone to share my rent with?

I love being single. I love being able to do what I want, when I want, without having to answer to anyone. To have time to spend with friends, and by myself. In one of the versions of my life, I imagine myself single forever, taking the odd lover on the side. A sophisticated older woman who frequents art galleries and book shops looking mysterious. It sounds pretty dreamy. Except for one small problem…

Without a partner, I can pretty much kiss any hopes of property ownership goodbye. My vision of myself as a sophisticated older lady don’t look quite so appealing when I imagine myself age 55 still living in a house share off Spare room.

Having a partner (or very rich parents) now seems to be a pre-requisite to being able to buy a house, to get a mortgage, at least in London. As it stands, the amount thrown away on rent every month actually makes me want to cry, but without a boyfriend there is little hope of changing this. Even if I were to make double of what I currently make, I still wouldn’t be able to get a mortgage—the reality is that a double income is needed.

“I’m 27 years old, i’ve no money and no prospects. I’m already a burden to my parents and I’m frightened.”

There are a million different things that you can save money on when in a relationship, from holidays, to bills and food. I won’t go into any great depth here because I am just stating the obvious.

What I am interested in, however, is how financial factors impact our attitudes towards relationships. I tell myself I would like a boyfriend all the time, but is this really what I want, or simply a pragmatic response to difficult economic circumstances.

And it’s not just women who feel like this. For many of us it feels like finding a partner is needed to progress with certain aspects of our lives.

My friend T, for instance, said that he would like to move a bit further out of London and buy a place, but in order to do this he needed to find a partner. Then, when all this had been achieved, he could finally learn to drive—something he’s wanted to do since he was young. I think many of us feel this way about things we’d like to achieve in life. We’re never told when we’re young that relationship status is going to be such a large factor in such things (which is probably for the best). We’re told we can do anything that we want, all by ourselves, as strong independent women. No need for men. For some this will be true, but for those of us with normal jobs that don’t pay insane amounts (because you’d need to be a literal millionaire to get a mortgage in London as a single person at this rate), this simply isn’t the case.

(Sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant! In my head I intended this article to be a lot more humorous and then I started writing and realised I had a lot of pent us frustration to let out!!)

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments on how financial and economic factors have impacted your attitudes towards romantic relationships…