Brilliant piece - economic security is so influential in partnership choices and wanting/needing a partner full stop. When you look into it, the disparity between being single versus being coupled is quite shocking!
every word of this! right down to the imagining myself as a sophisticated older woman who goes to art galleries and takes a couple of lovers from time to time!!!
Better to meet someone whose goals and values in life align with yours - the rest follows.
I know many people who’ve chosen a partner for financial reasons - later they find themselves treated like a possession - missing the causal link with their previous choice 🤷♂️🚨🤷♂️🤦🏻♂️
Agreed! I would never choose to date someone based on their financial position- it’s more the idea of having a double income when it comes to things like buying property that I think really does have an impact on one’s finances
I'm only 21 (lol, i hope that's still plenty of time to not die alone 😭) but having been one of those peeps who had little to no romantic attention from others growing up, I am currently making plans to move out the UK for better finances. Maybe if I had someone, things might be different but it's painfully funny that the cost of living has effectively simplified my options as partner or get out. And obviously one of those I can wholeheartedly embrace bc hell yeah, a new solo adventure in a new country vs just a potentially temporary person 🧐
Hard relate! I realise now I made choices of romantic partners in the past because they’d provide a financial safety net or just be someone. It was subconscious but so much of society is built on coupledom that I didn’t stop to think if I was aligning myself with someone who made me happy! I was happy to be chosen and wanted! Thankfully my forever husband (hopefully 🤣🤞🏻) makes me very happy and we are aligned in our goals (after many, many failed attempts and one failed marriage). 🤪
As a 31 year-old who was single until recently, living between London and Manchester, I can vouch that everything you have said is true. What I used to say to myself was that the price of settling down with the wrong person would be far worse than delaying my path to property ownership. Also - don't forget the freedom that renting provides you as a young woman; you can literally pack up your bags and try something new without the burden of a mortgage and someone else's life to consider. The grass is greener where you water it!
"Do I really want a boyfriend, or just someone to share my rent with?" 😂 have you watched the k drama "because this is my first life" ?
I haven’t- I’ll check it out aha
Wellll the flipside is that you could meet someone with a lot of debt and then have to share that too. 😳😂
Worst of both worlds!!
I hadn’t thought of that aha 😂
Brilliant piece - economic security is so influential in partnership choices and wanting/needing a partner full stop. When you look into it, the disparity between being single versus being coupled is quite shocking!
Glad you enjoyed! Yeah the difference is crazy!
every word of this! right down to the imagining myself as a sophisticated older woman who goes to art galleries and takes a couple of lovers from time to time!!!
Hahaha I’m glad we’re on the same page with this one!
Sadly, that might be a huge reason why DINKs are really becoming A Thing now--put of necessity
It really feels like a lose-lose game sometimes, right? Just wrote something similar bc basically…its exhausting!
Better to meet someone whose goals and values in life align with yours - the rest follows.
I know many people who’ve chosen a partner for financial reasons - later they find themselves treated like a possession - missing the causal link with their previous choice 🤷♂️🚨🤷♂️🤦🏻♂️
I would happily date someone with a lower income than myself
Agreed! I would never choose to date someone based on their financial position- it’s more the idea of having a double income when it comes to things like buying property that I think really does have an impact on one’s finances
Completely agree with that - probably a better plan than buying lottery tickets 😳🥳
I'm only 21 (lol, i hope that's still plenty of time to not die alone 😭) but having been one of those peeps who had little to no romantic attention from others growing up, I am currently making plans to move out the UK for better finances. Maybe if I had someone, things might be different but it's painfully funny that the cost of living has effectively simplified my options as partner or get out. And obviously one of those I can wholeheartedly embrace bc hell yeah, a new solo adventure in a new country vs just a potentially temporary person 🧐
Honestly I’m tempted to do the same at this point!
Hard relate! I realise now I made choices of romantic partners in the past because they’d provide a financial safety net or just be someone. It was subconscious but so much of society is built on coupledom that I didn’t stop to think if I was aligning myself with someone who made me happy! I was happy to be chosen and wanted! Thankfully my forever husband (hopefully 🤣🤞🏻) makes me very happy and we are aligned in our goals (after many, many failed attempts and one failed marriage). 🤪
Yeah it’s interesting thinking in hindsight how decisions were made based on stuff like that! So glad though that you’ve found your husband <3
Yeah 100%! I'll check it out!
As a 31 year-old who was single until recently, living between London and Manchester, I can vouch that everything you have said is true. What I used to say to myself was that the price of settling down with the wrong person would be far worse than delaying my path to property ownership. Also - don't forget the freedom that renting provides you as a young woman; you can literally pack up your bags and try something new without the burden of a mortgage and someone else's life to consider. The grass is greener where you water it!
This was a good read :)
https://open.substack.com/pub/billionairbear/p/dating-the-yesmaybeno-grid?r=1g5bw0&utm_medium=ios
Yeah I think it’s so great that you’re embracing that! It’s such a dilemma ahaha